Many of you have asked regarding the current news of our family regarding future plans, etc., so this is an attempt to answer all questions at once.
Regarding the baby:
On April 21st I announced on facebook:
So, my wife posted our news earlier, so I guess I’ll post it for everyone else: Murphy baby #3 is on the way! Due in Dec (most likely anyway)
We rejoiced! Our plan from the beginning has never been to have ___# of children, but rather to pray, have children, seek to parent them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and trust him for the rest – our only “plan” has been to take one at a time.
Many of you rejoiced along with us and we were thankful. Jo immediately went to making plans and dreaming regarding the arrival of a new little Murphy. Our house was full of joy and excitement.
May 12 was the date set for Jo’s first OB appointment complete with sonogram, measuring the baby, and projecting a due date. The news we received during that office visit was at the least heart-breaking and in many ways earth-shaking. Our baby had no heartbeat. Our 3rd baby lived with us for only 10 short weeks, preceding the rest of us past the pearly gates.
Many family and friends rallied around us praying over us, encouraging us, and sharing our pain. Many of our friends and family have experienced the pain of a miscarriage, some on multiple occasions. This was our first and I do pray our only experience. It’s in God’s hands – certainly not in my own.
In January, Jo and I announced to some our plans to move from Texarkana, Arkansas, to Louisville, Kentucky, where I will attend The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in pursuit of an MDiv. Others of you have learned of our plans along the way, and for many of you this still may be very new and surprising news. The question since January has simply been “when” and not “if”. In March, an opportunity arose which looked quite promising and we were confident we’d be moving to Louisville in early May. Alas, that plan fell through. The opportunity had looked divinely crafted us, but God did not see fit for us to move at that time. The rejection left me wounded and only when losing the baby did I see a little of God’s hand in the rejection. For the first time, we were thoroughly grateful to still be here, among familiar places and good friends, family, and church family. To still be in Texarkana during our grieving was quite a blessing.
This week is my last week as the Occupational Therapist for Texarkana Independent School District. As of next week I will be working PRN hours through the remainder of June and through July. Our plans are to again travel to Louisville in mid-July to secure housing and we will fully move during the first week of August. These plans, of course, could change and we could move earlier, but as the Lord wills, these are our current plans.
Growing our family through adoption is something Jo and I have discussed from the beginning, perhaps even before we were married. The desire to specifically seek adoption began to grow at the same time God was growing the desire to go to seminary to prepare for participation in full-time ministry. We didn’t know how those two should go together and, in all honesty, still do not.
Shortly after Aidan was born we pursued adoption through Arkansas Department of Human Services. We attended the classes, filled out the paperwork and waited… There were a few hours of the training Jo had missed due to illness and I watched the boys while she attended the first aid and CPR classes, so we both had a little make-up work to do. We were told that we’d be contacted about the next classes offered in order to make up the missing time, but weeks went by and we heard nothing. As we soon learned, the agency was going through some personnel changes and we simply were lost in the mix – they thought they were waiting on us; we thought we were waiting on them. DHS called after many months to ask if they could put our file “inactive”. After prayer and consideration, Jo agreed.
We still do not yet know how this will end for our family. We may yet again have the opportunity to adopt a child through either domestic or international agencies. We do know that there is quite a strong pro-adoption community within Louisville churches as well as the seminary and our desire to grow our family via adoption continues to grow, evermore so since having lost the baby.
How you can pray with us
We ask for continued healing over our loss, thankful for the peace and grace he has already shown to us. We ask for God’s provision and guidance as we prepare to move to Louisville and we pray for clarity, wisdom and guidance regarding growing our family through adoption and/or through natural childbirth.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. Thank you for praying.